SheFallsSoftly

This is an image that I’m trying to decide if I would like to have permanently transfered onto my body.

Why the dandelion:

Dandelions are incredibly graceful flowers, and very frail. They are soft, and lovely. They have a dual nature, though; in spite of (and because of) their soft, frail nature, they are incredibly sturdy flowers. Dandelions are very common weeds, they are survivors. They are lucky as well, you can make a wish on them by blowing off the seeds.

Why the quote:

It’s from T. S. Eliot’s "The Hollow Men". Out of context, it makes me think of playfulness, curiousity, freedom, and learning to be one’s self. In context, it’s a reference to hiding, and running, and being fluid.

It would be at my right hip bone, just inside and it would be about 2.5×3".

I won’t be getting it any time soon, but you should let me know what you think.

On another note, I’ve pretty much given up hope that this isn’t permanent, which is a step in the right direction, I guess. I’ve never really been the one who cared the most… it’s an experience, I suppose.

If you would see me again,
I’d undress,
I would cast off sheath, and shield, and armament,
Turn away quilt, comforter, jacket
I would take off denim, wool,
Underwires and bits of lace
Jewelry, ribbon, face paint
All sent away.
Step out of earth, water, skin
And fiction
If you would see me again.
I would be peeled, stripped,
And transparent
And no different in form or intent
From the first or last time we met,
If you would see me again.

So, I’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo… I want a swallow, right by the hipbone on the left side of my torso. Here are my favorites thus far:



I would like this one a lot, especially if they could do the faux-stitching detail so it would look like it was actually sewn onto me.



That one is awesome, but I’d like a more stylized sparrow… I really like the flowers in the back though, although I’d prefer oleander, lily, or iris…



I like this one, although it would obviously have to be rotated as I want it divind downward. It’s stylized the way I’d like it I think but the head looks sort of funny. I really like the way the wings are done. Mostly I just want something really simple, small, and understated.



Also on the list



Thus far, I think I’m liking the first and last the best. Thoughts?

Also, I’m intending to really decorate my room in a few weeks, so I’ve been thinking as to how I should do that. I’ve got a bedroom set of black and white painted wood, very grand and romantic, and i think my color scheme might be a very dramatic black, red, and white. I’ve already got a sheet set that looks like the print on Meg White’s drumset, so I’d need a black comforter and things to go around the room. The room has a vaulted ceiling, so I think I could really emphasize that by using black, white, and red organza/tulle/chiffon/lace (all sheer fabrics) and weaving them over-under-over-under on the ceiling, giving the room a nice pillowy romantic feel. I’ll probably get some black blackout curtains for the floor to ceiling window, and drape more of the lace and chiffon type stuff on that. Then again, I think that might look sort of awful so I might stick with all of the other decorative elements and sub the red for a soft purple or pink. I like the idea of the ceiling though, it mostly just depends on what decorative wall art-type stuff I find. Also, there will always be fresh flowers in my room.

As of now, I think the main focal point might be this piece by Harold Feinstein, or a similar piece in a differenct color

On a less completely vapid note, my life has calmed down quite a bit… the last few days have been very relaxing, particularly the hours of cuddling and Firefly that happened yesterday with Billy. There was also that nice round of hangman at IHOP, which became infinitely cuter via the use of an adorable pangram on my part.

You call me crazy, but I don’t know if that’s true. I’m difficult, it’s true, hard to understand and harder to handle… But I don’t think I’m crazy. Obviously I’m probably a biased judge on the matter, but I don’t think hurting makes me crazy… it makes me hurt. I haven’t led the sort of graceful untouched life that might allow me not to hurt, not to have a past that follows me. In a lot of ways, that’s my fault, but in a lot of ways it isn’t. Culpability isn’t the issue, though, the issue is that most people go through these kinds of problems and even if the wounds aren’t as fresh anymore, you have too.

After all, if you’re more willing to trust a coin flip than your emotions, what does that say about your emotional state? I wouldn’t call that particularly sane.

Also, I’ve still never won a coin toss. I didn’t even have to call this one to lose it.