SheFallsSoftly

Things have been unremarkable as always. Valentine’s day was nice, I remembered how much I love cooking (and how good at it i can sometimes be) and very nearly saw Leila dance again… Too sleepy, though, gave up too early and went home. Hopefully I will make up for it at the next one.

Been seeing lots of friends, working very little, and doing very little studying. Will it come back to bite me? Likely. Do I care now? Doubtful.



Slight ankles slip
Serene through salted water,
Quick flitting over sand and shell,
She, sweet, steps deep
Sea surf surges at hips, breasts, knees
She, swift, swims with tide, wave, body
Treads water only. Strains,
Suppressed, slips strengthless back
Sand scrapes knees, legs, skin.
Stranded.
Spat out. Shunned.
She, sullen, slinks shamed
Seeks something soft, simple, stoic.
Salt still slick on skin,
Settles into sleepy stream
That sluices over stones,
She sifts fingers through stale, slow, indifferent stream,
Wants, wanting, wants.


This isn’t the only way I know to say these things, anymore, but it’s the only way they feel true.

Remember when I used to post every day? I’m not sure what’s happened between  how I used to write and how I write now, but I somehow have less to say even though just as much is happening.

Lindsay and I attended the Berkeley debate tournament in JV, and got to final rounds and dropped on a 2-1. She was 5th speaker, I believe, and I was second. It was fun all around and should gear us up nicely for Novice Nats in a few weeks.

Classes have started with a minor tweak in scheduling that I suppose I ought to post here sometime. I love all of my classes and genuinely enjoy attending them, although the compounded body of reading feels like it’s smothering  me. There is so much to do all of the time.

I’ve been making serious attempts to see my friends more often, and I feel quite a bit better about the world. I’ve been sliding in and out of a very anxious depression in some aspects of my life. I forgot how much of it comes down to choosing to be happy, and to talk about things in a rational way and not let it all build up until I’m an emotional wreck.

I got rear ended a few days ago. There’s hardly any damage and I’d honestly just prefer to pretend the whole thing never happened… we’ll see if the woman who hit me ever calls. Nothing, so far.

The important thing is that I love what it is and stop crying for what it isn’t… "More, more, more" is not the sort of refrain I’d like to keep in my life.