Archive for December, 2006

It’s astounding, time is fleeting

Friday, December 22nd, 2006

So it seems that winter is a good season for travelling. In case anyone is wondering where I’ll be for the next few weeks, I thought I might post a schedule for clarity purposes.

Dec 19-28 : Home with my family in New Mexico

January 1-9 : UNT and UTD debate tournaments

January 12-16 : Berkeley debate tournmanent

January 16 : Classes begin

Being home has been nice, although I’m admittedly ready to return to Oklahoma. I don’t really know how much I’m looking forward to all of this travel, especially the huge amounts of debating I’ll have to do. Luckily, that will most likely be it for debate for me this year until March when I will attend novice nationals and be done with debate for the school year.

My spring school schedule is online here, for anyone that is interested in what I’ll be taking this semester.

It’s just a jump to the left

I’m a peace lovin’ decoy

Saturday, December 16th, 2006

Ah the paradox of having a blog; when you’re busiest there’s never time to write, and yet when you’ve got free time there’s nothing to write about.

I’m happy. Maybe not a change of pace, but a nice sustained reality. I had an amazing birthday, probably the best in my life with the exception of that time I got the princess jasmine costume (you know, from Aladdin?) and then did impromptu belly dancing with my little sister who was in a tutu.. But I was 9 and gosh, those were the days. Sadly, a whole ten years later, I’m sated with a nice dinner in a pretty dress with my pretty date and then drinks with my pretty date’s pretty friend.

I went out tonight with Jordan, saw Andrea, had some good times and tried not to feel too awkward in a busy club with lots of bass-heavy music and paint fumes. Maybe I just don’t understand the point of going out when there’s not a lot of dancing and/or lofty conversation involved… I did manage to cleverly insult some random drunk boy on the street. But maybe I shouldn’t brag about these victories?

Finals are finally over, they didn’t go spectacularly but I didn’t fail out either, so now that the semester from hell is over I can go back to being an upstanding student. Things should calm down now that I’m healthy and my life makes sense again.

December is a difficult time of year but there have been relatively few major mishaps thus far, and I think I made it through November unscathed. The summer months have been cruelest to me this year, but I think I’ve got that issue worked out for the time being. I’ve been having strange dreams again but nothing like August and the months between.

I’m leaving for New Mexico soon, and then will be home for a small number of days, and then at a debate tournament in Texas. Sounds like a party, no? Anyway, I’ll get to see my neice and my sisters and mommy and aunts and uncles and grandma and everyone else I haven’t seen since well before I left for college. I’m just not the sort to keep in touch, and they’re not the sort to come to me. The wind blows us together every 4-5 years.

Apparently I am the only person I know who talks to my mommy 2-4 times a week. I don’t really know what we talk about, but these conversations definitely occur.

I’m too bored to insert the appropriate links. Look them up and then think of your own witty tags. It will be a "choose your own adventure" sort of blog entry. For the part where I leave to do something more interesting, skip to the next line. To dally in my presence longer, skip to line 1. For a witty double entendre, skip to the page with the madlibs and pick a noun that will verb the poker game.

All I want to do is dance

Protected: pop quiz! the password is the day i said i loved you. mm/dd/yy

Monday, December 4th, 2006

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we were like the fire in the trees

Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
For the first time in a long time, I’m not finding myself burning with words every time I know it’s most important to stay quiet. Things are calm, incredibly calm and peaceful… I’m careful to whisper now, in a voice that will let you remain in slumber if sleeping you are, or if not, is quiet enough that you can ignore. Everyone is telling me to calm down, recently.. Funny thing is, my internal dialogue has never been so at ease. I don’t think that I’m in control of things, but that hasn’t changed… The only thing that may be different is a new sense that I don’t need to be, that I can trust you.

I never know anymore how I might behave next, I’m not accustomed to feel so jealous or so accepting… Being unaccustomed to that jealousy, I’m unaccustomed to not allowing my jealousy to get the better of me… Even though, generally, I don’t. I imagine this is how the wind feels, this chasing and being chased, this catching and being caught, the pink faced reckless laughing, it all feels to me like the air flows straight through my heart and carries me with it.

You ebb and flow, and I will roam, both fluid, both cyclical.

Most days I’m only cryptic because my life is too uninteresting to be direct.

 I can never get close enough to you